My next $Million (possibly more)

So my first attempt at becoming a millionaire fell short. OK, so I got zero monies from it. I was sad for a while, but I must move on. However, part of the reason I am able to move on is I discovered another way to make $1,000,000, and possibly even more. It's pure ingenious.

Here it goes.

I am hereby forgoing my last (4) years of college eligibility to enter into the NFL draft. I enjoyed my year at Utah State, nearly 16 years ago, but have found it no longer necessary for me to be attached to the great program in Logan, Utah. I feel I have learned all I could from the great Aggie coaching staff. I will remember my roots. But I need to move on, for my family (and pocketbook), and think I have a lot to offer to the NFL. I will be entering the league as a rookie, with veteran age. This will help out any team that will pick me up. I will not get into trouble with the local communities. No headlines in the paper reading Oliver LeGrand: will he ever stop shooting people that don't want to be shot? And yet I will have the enthusiasm of a rookie that has never seen the inside of one of them really big buildings you only see on the TV with the bunny ears in my parents double wide. Plus, I will not complain about an utterly ridiculous multi million dollar contract. No long drawn out contract disputes with this guy. I want the team, the NFL, and me to succeed. And when it is time for me to retire, I will bow out with dignity, and a couple Bentleys.

Looking forward to hearing from a lucky team on the 26th of April, where my family and I will be watching with anticipation from our humble living room.

I knew it

Possibly the best online quiz I have ever taken that really defines me. Those that know me well would completely agree.

Which Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Character Are You?
	You are Michelangelo. You are laid back and all about having a good time. Cowabunga!
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

My parents would be proud

95%ALCOHOLIC

i am a beast!

25

For I am a Sad Panda

So why am I so sad? Read on, if you have the heart.

When I made my first post that shed the light on global normaling (How I will get $1,000,000), I was a happy carefree young lad. I had the future in front of me and the world in the palms of my little hands. I was in a Google search (third result when searching “global normaling”). I had so many dreams of what I was going to do with my $1,000,000. I would have even bought all the guys here at work lunch. This blog broke boundaries and enlightened the un-enlightenable.

Those were the days of innocence, and innocence has been raped from me. Shortly after my showing up in a Google search, it was for some reason removed. My fingers are pointing towards the mafia running the global warming/cooling camps. Jerks. You heard me; you are jerks, shame on you. This, in turn, resulted in people not being made aware of the real global temperature problem, thus not getting me in the lime light, thus people not throwing money at me. Not even a sad little penny has been given to me. I could have written books about it… or at least short stories.

I, clutching my chest, could have been nominated, and won, a Nobel Peace Prize. I could have been a star. Instead, I am just Oliver, the sad panda.

Global Temperature Diagram

So this diagram I created demonstrates my happiness levels with the three debated political climates.



The first shows me during Global warming. See how hot I am. Sweaty and most likely red from being sun burned or just because I'm hot. Very Unhappy. :(

The second shows me during global cooling. A little blue from being cold, but happy. I like the cold. Makes winters easier to get through, being all cold and what not. :)

Now the third shows me during GLOBAL NORMALING. See how I am not sad, and am not entirely happy either. I am not entirely happy on account of the pollution GLOBAL NORMALING causes people to put crap in the air and makes it harder to breathe. But as you notice, my color has not been altered all that much. Although i do look rather pale. :\

Still waiting for the moneys to start pouring in, but i do have faith it will.

How I will get $1,000,000

In todays political climate, and I don't mean the environment surrounding power and decision making, I mean the politics in weather and science, you can never be to safe or sure of what is going on.

First we had global warming, in which all the pollution we are letting off as humans is causing the global temperatures to rise. By the way, congrats on the Nobel former next president of the U.S. Al Gore. Now we are having global cooling, in which the earth is recording it's coldest winters over the past couple years. Now this is caused by pollution, once again, blocking the sun's rays so the earth's surface is not warming up. Personally if I had my choice I would go with global cooling. I can't stand the heat and it's easier to get warm than it is to get cool.

Well, now there is a third theory. And it is my own, and will make me millions. Ready? We are now suffering from what will be known as GLOBAL NORMALING (to be said with a loud echo). This states the earth's global temperature has never fluctuated this normal in the last trillion years (estimate). We have never seen temperature change the same way every year so much. This is causing people to let pollution off into the air all willy nilly, causing it to be gross and hard to breathe in. Global normaling is believed to be caused by living on earth, a dynamic planet, which is located in a dynamic solar system, which is located in a dynamic galaxy.

In summation, I will take all sorts of praise and my $1,000,000 in tens, twentys, and a couple hundreds (they look cool).